Another week..........

I'm so stressed right now. Been having panic attacks. I'm so tired of it! I hope once July/August rolls around it will be better. I know thats like wishing away the summer but if it means getting past this, I'm all for it. Travis has to go into the shop today and work on the trucks a little. He went ahead and packed his bags b/c while he's there a job will probably pop up and that way they can just go ahead and leave from there. I hate it though. I hate feeling this way while he's gone. It's going to drive me crazy worrying about things.

Oh and another thing. That so called "lawyer" never faxed anything to Travis. So I guess that answers our ques. He doesn't even exist. And to be honest even if he did I wouldn't worry. Ginger just gave a baby up for adoption, how in the hell is the judge going to see that in her favor? She hasn't seen her in three years, and out of those three years she's only spoke to her twice on the phone. So how can it be our fault? That's what she says anyways. I'm sorry...our hands weren't on the steering wheel while you were on your way to California. Our hands were not the ones who did not pick up the phone and call her daughter. So....who's the blame here? Ashlyn wants to stay here. And no matter how many problems we have w/her we love her, and would be really sad if she left. But I know that's not going to happen.

I'm really trying to lean on my faith right now. I need to. I said here a week or so ago we were going to go to church. Well just so happened Ashlyn woke up throwing up. So no go then. Now, its a matter of Its gonna be only me and the kids. Travis doesn't wanna go. I don't know why. I guess he's afraid it'll make him look stupid...I don't know. I'm trying to get past the hurdle where I just suck it up and go not only for mine but for the kids sake also.

Anyways, I guess that's it for today.